Per PTA mandated snooping and busybody involvement, several students were asked about their experiences at high school, and it turns out it has been boring since the 1980's. “Sure, we had the Trenchcoat Mafia, but that was more like a band—with guns. I mean, it's like our dads would have done that shit if they were younger and looked like a Goth Duran Duran. What? Shut up dad—I said SHUT IT YOU FUCKER!”Another student remarked, “But er, yeah, at least you could do drugs in school, and spike oranges with Vodka and stuff. No one even wants to do that anymore. Freshman hazing—it's all gone. I don't really have a reason to go anymore. And I'm not driving my sister to the dentist either, so you can fuck off and tell dad he's right to divorce you.”
As the graph elucidates, the lower the truancy, the higher the boredom. -10% of the students said they would return to school if they got pregnant or an STD, 43.9% claimed school was enough to make them feel worthless, and unaccepted, and a whopping 5% said they'd return to school from juvenile detention if there was a forced sex room somewhere in the school. When mentally challenged students are added to this graph, however, the entire graph falls apart and we are left wondering why we have failed our children.
1 comment:
I'm sick of everyone glad handing and coddling these simpering little snots. "Oh, they're little!" "Oh, they're too young to be productive members of a progressive, enlightened society!"
To all that, I say "Horse-pucky!"
If you go to any number of countries, kids are working 10 or 12 hour days and are glad to have the opportunity. We need to re-instate the draft, or open a whole bunch of forced labor camps. Homework looks pretty darn good when the alternative is breaking rocks in the hot sun.
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