Laws Inapplicable To Ordinary Citizens

In a strange twist of fate, the same secret laws that politicians and corporations use to make ordinary laws inapplicable to them has been leaked by a 12 year old boy, looking for preteen Asian porn and ending up on a CIA website used to track pedophiles. Once the boy was arrested for leaking such sensitive data the boy then hacked into a police station computer after distracting an officer by crying for his mommy, booked himself a flight to the Kremlin, changed medical prescriptions for his state representatives, and canceled every major credit card of all officers in the precinct where he was held, citing “deceased” as the justification to the credit companies. When finally reached for comment over Greenland, he responded via the airplane's communication equipment to an air traffic controller in the Philippines.

"Well, I didn't bother with the smaller credit cards, because they don't have enough pull to form death squads; or, for that matter, create an FBI to help run their show. The smaller credit card companies may well be a viable business in our free-market economy.”
Authorities have since given up on searching for the boy as their cell phones no longer have signal, but continue to randomly ring “The Fat Albert” theme song.