Prison Colony Discovered in Cornwall

Recently, a prison colony was discovered in Cornwall, England. Most of the inmates still had several of their teeth left; but their clothing has since disintegrated. “We were supposed to go to Australia, and now we don't know what we're going to do. We don't even know how we got here. I mean, we escaped the Bloody Code, the crime and all that shite, and now were all but fucked.” Sources say that because Queen Victoria is dead, there is no way to pardon these wanton ill-doers; and so, because the prison cannot be pulled down with them inside, they are fated to rot there for eternity, like Davy Jones, who rides the Seven Seas looking for victims to call his own. However, The Sun newspaper has re-printed an account of them and their lives, claiming all but one had a life of stealing wallets after rugby riots.