Corporate Supersperm

A new type of Übersperm has been introduced into Eastern European populations to combat the victimization they're felt since losing the war. “I don't even know how I got this,” remarks one man. “I've always shuttered away the past, and tried to make a new future, but to no avail.” A Psychologist from the University of Gdansk commented on the unique new methodology. “If we give our countrymen facials on a daily basis, they'll be more likely to feel like they have a purpose and begin repopulating just by the sheer magnitude of what they will be swallowing in the process.” Veterans seem to be the most excited about this ingenious new medical breakthrough.