Blank DVD sales have come crashing down this holiday season due to the Big Five movie companies claiming, “We're bigger than Jesus.”When asked about this, one Pakistani cab driver replied, “I don't know, who are the Big Five Anyway? And who gives a shit if they're bigger than Jesus? He was just a disciple like so many others, like Mohammad.”
A homeless man on the street, who began to urinate on the laconic cab driver's tire exclaimed, “DVD's came from aliens, and don't you think I don't know it!” The cab driver responded by taking a tire iron from behind his seat, chased the homeless man down a nearby alley and screamed, “I'll kill you you motherfucker for pissing on my car!”
The Big Five has yet to respond to either of their detractor's claims, but reports have been pouring in of people who have illegally downloaded movies on their computers taking their computer tower outside and in a fit of rage setting fire to it.
4 comments:
This is blatantly false! Historical and archeological research has demonstrated that Jesus was at least 900 feet tall.
WTF? Jesus wasn't 900 feet tall. You're thinking of that wacked band, MC 900 Ft Jesus.
So now I'm confused. Who was bigger?
It really depends on how you define 'bigger'. If you're talking about physical size, I'd say the record companies would be the clear winners. They have warehouses, distribution systems, accountants, secretaries, all the stuff of corporate America. If you're talking about popularity, that might be more difficult to assess. Right now, record companies are really hurting because, just like film production companies, there are too many thieving bastards stealing their creative work and distributing it, illegally, to every Tom69, Dick-Hz, and Harry_blz14. Jesus would not download illegally distributed music or movies to his iPod. That would be wrong.
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