TTC Under Fire For Banning Cell Phones

The TTC, or Telecommunication Technology Committee, established in 1985, has finally come to the conclusion cell phones are a waste of time. "We decided, after years of research no one, and we mean, no one, is important enough they need to use a phone away from home." Over the next few weeks cell phone signals will be disrupted, and in one month's time, all cell phones will cease to function.
"We decided to roll back the clock, and let people know those things are merely vanity items, like a Guido's gold necklace, or a Mercedes Benz emblem on an old Pinto. They never really worked well, and terrorists in the form of global corporations are charging people for something that literally, costs essentially nothing." Phuket Cellular will be first affected.