The GSC, or Global Standards Collaboration has collapsed under the weight of their members' inability to agree on what strip club to attend in Bangkok, Thailand."Every single fucking American wanted to go to a Thai ladyboy club in order to discuss globalized standards for the new world order. We're sick of it," says one disgruntled Japanese man of indeterminte vocation. "They think Asia is a place for what they call 'exotic' forms of sexual entertainment. It's not exotic, morons, you're just fucked-up puritans, and don't expect when you dump a load in some lady boy you're not as risk for HIV, because it's rampant because of idiots like you believing Jesus will save you from yourselves."
Americans were present, but most were either too drunk or too violent to interview. One American businessman stumbled up to the microphone, and chortled, "It's OK, they think we're taking them home to marry them."
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"My heart was broken," cried Duk Ban Ting Tang Tran, a Vietnamese Lady-Boy who gave up his virginity to a rich American businessman. "He said he loved me, called me his bride-to-be, and then disappeared after he used me." Between tears and wads of facial tissue, he confesses, "I thought he loved me."
Duk is one of the growing number of tragic, heart-broken victims of American cultural imperialism. "I don't hate America," he said, "but that guy was an asshole."
Once happily visiting the many popular dance clubs and bars in downtown Bangkok, now Duk can be found at more quiet venues catering to locals.
"I dreamed of having a handsome husband, and living in a beautiful house. Now, all I want is for someone to love me."
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