FBI "Dangerously" Bored

Inside sources claim the FBI is "dangerously" bored. "We're not exactly sure what that means yet," says one disgruntled federal whistleblower. "What we do know is that since the fall of every country we have coveted something from, and destroyed, there isn't a whole lot left to do but round up everyone who is either on drugs, or freely downloading whatever they want from the internet, whether it's free or not.
After the fall of all the drug cartels, the CIA shipped their opium business off to Afghanistan, their cocaine business off to the bloody fields of Columbia, and their prostitution rackets to Thailand. There aren't frankly any jobs here left. No one is able to work in our free-market capitalist system anymore, and nowadays everyone is becoming more socialist due to the popularity of Chairman Mao Tse Tung t-shirts, coffee mugs and other memorabilia. We're honestly afraid of what they'll do next. I mean, what do you do when there's no one left to intimidate?"
The man then shuffled off back into his tunnel-like existance, and has not been seen since.