
"We can't kill him either, because he does have superior genes in him. Once genetic research companies can discover a way to remove the inferior genes, he will summon in the Fouth Reich by withdrawing all monies accumulated by Freemasons during World War II from the Swiss Bankers Association and wring hellfire down upon the non-believers and uplift the Aryan race to what it was back in India."
Bin Laden's spin doctors were not available for comment.
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President Obama, in a news conference today, announced the first full scale military strike on a target inside the United States. "Our troops have positioned themselves in strategic locations around the Nabisco Corporate headquarters in Atlanta," said a tired, slightly unkempt Obama. "We're going to wipe them from the face of the Earth," he said, "because I'm simply sick and tired of being called an Oreo."
Conservative pundit Rush Limbaugh, when asked to comment, said "Americans need to rise up in opposition to this blatant racism." Later, he was seen sobbing into a large glass of milk.
Obama, a progeny of an African man and a very light skinned American woman, was overheard muttering "I've got your double stuff right here."
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