People were in shock today as they discovered two clever scientists from a local bar who have decided to re-calibrate the earth's atmosphere, making the air breathable again."It was really simple," says one of the proud men. "All we did was change the electromagnetic field of the earth to reject all plastic/petroleum products. It's a cunning plan, because anyone who uses any of them within a 3 mile radius will instantly burst into flames."
The other scientist added, "The great thing about it is rich people will no longer have to interact with their drivers. Shipments will come in by driver, in his own car, then transferred to horse and buggy and taken deeper into the estate."
A spokesperson for OPEC responded as well, saying, "Don't worry about that hobgoblin, we have another panel of scientists we have paid very well to refute such hogwash." Iraq and Alaska have had mandatory evacuations, and will be slated for demolition--American troops are finally on their way home!
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