Europeans “Having It Off”

Americans have had some reservations about becoming part of the European Union for one reason and one reason only—Europeans are doing it everywhere they feel like. Besides pissing in the streets, possessing questionable bathing habits, and not shaving “dirty” places Europeans have been known for doing it “doggy” in cafes, performing fellatio in train stations right in front of children, and inbreeding with relations too close to build a strong genetic line.

“We went to Europe on a trip we won on 'The Price is Right,' and we were appalled. One couple was performing coitus with their dog right on a car hood in front of a gasoline station. We called the police, and when they arrived, it took about five to six shots to the abdomen before the man would stop fucking. I can tell you this, we won't be going back there again anytime soon!”
Her husband was quick to respond, “Well, she won't be coming back, but personally I'm eager to learn about new cultures and their unique ways.” Since then stricter laws have been enacted regarding public sex in the United States, and mandatory shaving with regular inspections have been taking place in the adult film industry to make the models appearing in them look younger.