People Mysteriously Taken In By Kink

People nowadays have mysteriously been taken in by kink, a new study shows. Old information has shown people were far more into violence, due to the uncontrollable urge to go shopping, but now they seem the only thing left in their control is heavy kink.

One Midwestern housewife explains, "My husband and i used to be a part of the NRA, but nowadays we've taken to buying huge dildos, which I, in turn, use on my husband."
"There's nothing gay about it," exclaims the flushed man. "I'm still recovering from last night. But I'll tell you one thing, it's far cheaper than buying a gun, and at least we both get something out of it. When I get done smacking her around, she turns the tables, and lets me have it."