84% of North Africans feel they are “too black” for western culture and are continuing to thrive in shantytowns, protesting laconically. However, one man, Ubu Aduba, had something to say about it. “We don't have any resources economic hit men of multi-national European corporations can covet, we don't have any education to run their toxic textile mills and synergistic electronics companies, and our skin is too dark to blend in with their honky-assed fascist democracy even if we didn't drown trying to boat our way to Italy. I mean, what the fuck? No wonder they're not here stealing more than just diamonds from our people. I say 'Fuck'em!'”As he signaled, his compatriots nodded blankly at the cameras, as they could not understand him. Fortunately, a valuable metal has just been found in North Africa, and so our surly African neighbors will be paid a visit very, very soon.
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