Sunday, January 11, 2009

"Scrappin's" Gone "Crappin'"

People, notably bored by doing page after page of scrapbooking, have decided to form anarchistic groups of scrappers, called "Guerrilla Scrappers." These lawless heathens have taken to co-opting scrapping conventions, and spraying their undesirable themes across the pages of unsuspecting middle-aged sex-frightened women, and balding closeted married potbellied men.
These despondent Middle Americans have since formed neighboorhood watch groups, where they take their fear and anger; and, instead of attacking the aforementioned Guerilla Scrappers, take the high road, and are creating "cautionary tale" scrapbooks featuring these troglodites to teach their children lessons about judgement and action.
Jesus has presided over a number of these meetings, and can usually be found asleep in the corner until the relentless scrappin' enthusiasts reluctantly wake him up and let him go.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Palestinians have taken to scrap booking like ducks to water, using pieces of cut paper, metallic stars, and the body parts of dead children.

"We're so grateful to the Israelis for helping us with this exciting new hobby," said Kalil Aduhabadab, as he wielded a powder blue Martha Stewart glue gun. "It's a new, safer form of Jihad!"

Anonymous said...

I'm surprised to see you reporting this here, it's such a recent phenomenon that I wouldn't have thought that it was this widely known yet.

Me and the gals in my guerrilla scrap group are so fed up with the twee, cutesy crap that we see at every crop we go to!

At the recent weekly crop at my LSS (local scrapbook store), a group of 11 of us stormed the group while a lady was showing the pages she'd made showing her new baby. We burned the photos and scrawled "MarthaStewartWhore!!" all over her albums. My car pool buddy Patsy wrote "womb drone" on her forehead with a Sharpie. It was awesome!

Margie, Peoria