Monday, January 12, 2009

Anne Hathaway Wins At Golden Globes

Several days before the event, The Golden Globe website announced this year's winners online to help fans avoid the embarrassment of actually having to watch the show. Sporting a double breasted Golden Globe dress, Anne Hathaway was quickly whisked off the stage and given a beating the likes of which Rodney King could not have predicted.
“I didn't know the Golden Globe design was trademarked,” she whimpered. A spokesman for the third world nation of the Golden Globes commented. “She lives in a first world country, she knows how it works. Everything is owned by someone, and if that stupid bitch is going to feign ignorance of it, the bitch is getting a beat-down.”
People were just as horrified as it was announced before the show that Sean Penn did not actually get deep-dicked in the movie “Milk.” “I was hoping to see some barebacking action, like Heath Ledger did to that fag in 'Brokeback Mountain,'” a fundamentalist mother of three from Spokane, Wa., commented. Again, this year, sorrow for the Golden Globes trying to measure up to its' inferior, The Oscars.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Rodney King, when asked about Hathaway's beating, said "what did the bitch do to deserve it?"