Shear Genius Final Cut

Chaos erupted this season on the set of Shear Genius, the Bravo Channel's reality-based television show about hair cutting, coloring, and styling. Five of the six remaining contestants took to their razor-sharp shears using them like prison-like shivs on other competing stylists, blinding one another in a bloodbath that lasted over 4 minutes. A witness observed the blood-curdling shrieking and trilling and described it as "The sound of hundreds of rabbits dying. It was shear genius!”

One contestant, Nelly McNellerson, still laying in a fresh pool of his own blood was reputed to sputter, “I just wanted approval.” Paramedics arrived on the scene, took the shears from the last surviving contestant, and said,” This was your final cut.”