Pubic Zirconias Under Scrutiny

Pubic Zirconias have been mutilating genitalia recently, and the public wants to know why. In a related story, the adult film industry has filed a multi-million dollar lawsuit against the Zirconia company for creating such a clear violation of their freedom of expression, and their now inability to insert marital aids in rectums without a physician present, costing them millions in overhead and lost revenue.