Friday, December 12, 2008

Coveting “Passé and Cowardly”

More and more Americans are considering that coveting the things of others is passé and completely unnecessary. “Nobody has any good stuff anymore. Besides, I'm worth more than trying to get someone else's shit,” says Amanda Silversmith, mother of five. “I've got too much laundry to do to worry about stealing crap that isn't even worth my time. Most of it's made in China anyway.”
A detractor of this new zeitgeist is General William Farnsworth. “Why the fuck are we using corporations to take over the Middle East if it isn't to get their shit? Besides that, if I see some hottie my buddy is married to, I'm sure as hell gonna try and tap that sweet ass, Rohypnol or not.” The General added, “And if some faggoty nelly has a hot ass that needs to be taught a lesson you can be damned sure me and my buddies are gonna see to it that homo knows his place by breeding his hole and letting him know we white males aren't gonna take any more of this ethnic one-world bullshit anymore.” A notable sociologist could not be reached for comment.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I tried Rohypnol once. I went to a bar, slipped it into my drink, and woke up three hours later on the bathroom floor with my pants around my ankles. What did I learn from this experience: Rohypnol makes your ass hurt.