The Walking Dead

Halloween is the one time of year where the demons of wealthy white businessmen may roam freely upon the earth, privatizing what they will. But businessmen of today are no longer carrying shrunken ethnic baby heads or their mother's teeth in a small satchel inscribed with a pentagram as the chic days of yesteryear, they're finding modern ways of parading their wares: Ping Zing golf clubs host the Army Of Darkness, gold tipped walking sticks whipping boys, and top hats like the guy from monopoly wears conceal The Spiders From Mars. This season's must-haves adorn their horrific frames, wasted from years of wanton disregard and nagging demands upon a society ill-equipped to outsource them. When asked about this trend, one man puzzled, “But how is this different from any other time of year?”