After months of inadequate investigation, the “big five” movie making companies are under scrutiny for distributing poor films. Sony BMG admitted it has been making inferior movies for years now due to illegal downloading on the Internet. “We simply can't keep up with the demand for illegal content, so we're not going to bother anymore,” one spokesperson remarked. “We don't have the pull of the petroleum companies like we used to, and because we are no longer driving their empire, they don't seem to care about us anymore, and any requests for executions we've put on black marketeers and pre-teen movie downloaders have fallen short on their part.”A spokesperson for the petroleum industry quickly retorted, “We don't order executions anymore because we can clearly see the entertainment companies are no longer interested in providing us with marketable content we can quickly move on DVD. Frankly we can't keep up with Internet piracy, and have found our relationship with entertainment companies to be a tenuous one at best. Those drama queens want to make it all our fault, which is not the case. They simply can't find the peasants needed to pay 20 millions dollars to promote and distribute quality films,on our product, so honestly the ball lies in their court. Simply put—Maintain sales, and we'll be glad to execute anyone you want.”
In response to this, the Big Five stamped their feet and went shopping.
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