Infants “Dumb and Dumberer”

In a recent survey, infants have been found to be the stupidest people on the planet. One scientist remarks,“If we didn't have their younger brothers and sisters for stem cell research, I say euthanize the lot of them!” People are taking to the streets as blue collar crime soars due to these uneducated ne'er-do-wells.

On a related note, more and more potential parents are scrapping the idea of having children. One man explains, "We can't possibly go out for a business dinner without the neediness and constant supervision. It also irritates everyone." His wife chimed in, citing, "My breasts are for the enjoyment of my husband and his business associates, and not for some whiny little brat who can't even feed itself."