Men Forced to "Make Do"

More and more men have joined the Merchant Marines in an attempt to forgo the needless process of getting to know their girlfriend's parents, and other siblings. "We don't really see the point," says one young man. "You have to dress up, not swear, drink, or smack them in front of others you're trying to make a good impression on. What a racket."
Another man interjected, "This way I don't have to admit my proclivities and can just go on as usual, blaming women for their inability to cure my sexual ambivalence. If those bitches can't make me the man my father tried to with a belt or forced oral, then I'm faggin' it up with the rest of these homos." NOW, the National Organization of Women was contacted about this curious change in social behavior, and simply responded, "Good!"